Antony

copyright Marie Gail Stratford

photo copyright:
Marie Gail Stratford

Now remember Antony take the next left. Take lots of care darling. Keep on the side walk like I have shown you. Look out for the crossing sign. Then straight on till you reach the park gates.

But mummy do I have to go over ground ? Why can’t I take the subway.

Not today darling. It’s a holiday.

But mummy their legs are so big.

I know dear, but today is a special day, it will be fun, it’s all part of growing up dear. When you get there, you can play with the other children, have candy.

Off you go now. Remember I love you. …

 

 

I am grateful to Rochelle for managing the Friday Fictioneers site: And for all those who post their flash fiction here. This has allowed and encouraged me to review many of the aspects of writing my personal flash fiction. Unfortunately my faulty schoolboy grammar seems a permanent feature.

This Post Has 35 Comments

  1. rochellewisoff

    Sweet story, Michael. Nice dialogue.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Rochelle.

  2. storydivamg

    I’ll echo Rochelle’s response. Sweet dialogue. You have the boy’s voice down pat.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  3. Michael Humphris

    Hi Marie, I had initially intended to put one last word after the last full stop. Then I changed my mind. That word was Splat for Antony was an ant.

  4. IfeomaO

    Oh this is such a cute take on it πŸ™‚ hope he wasn’t squashed.
    Cheers.

  5. Siobhan McNamara

    It felt quite sinister that Mummy was sending little Antony off to the park on his own. I was wondering why she wanted him out of the way. Now I find I am rooting for Antony the ant and hoping survives his day at the park πŸ™‚

    1. Michael Humphris

      We all have to walk out by ourselves one day.

      I love that you saw a different take on the situation to me.

  6. oldentimes

    Good tale, a great adventure on the way.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Being let loose once was a time for adventure. Thanks for reading.

  7. draliman

    A worrying time for a parent, letting the little one loose in the big city.

    1. Michael Humphris

      That’s for sure, but the must come a time? Thanks for reading

  8. mjlstories

    So glad I found out he’s an ant!

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. It’s great to share idea’s

  9. gahlearner

    I’m glad you left that last word out. You had me wondering with the big legs… I was thinking mouse, or maybe rat… it’s a sweet story in any case.
    About the grammar: have you tried paperrater? (http://www.paperrater.com/). English is not my first language and I’m often insecure, then this site helps me with the more basic stuff. For longer pieces I ask my beta reader, but I usually throw out my blog posts un-beta’ed.

    1. Michael Humphris

      I will look at paperrater.com. It’s great to share idea’s. Thank you, Mike

  10. helenmidgley

    Anthony the Ant was such a sweetie πŸ˜‰

    1. Michael Humphris

      O thank you Helen, so pleased if this comment means that your writing again

  11. ansumani

    I’ll watch out for Antony when I’m walking. Nice dialogues.

    1. Michael Humphris

      I believe that at present he is in Peru, on holiday

  12. joseph elon lillie

    I hope the little fella doesn’t get squashed!

    1. Michael Humphris

      Me to. Thanks for reading

  13. Michael Humphris

    Thank you, my original response to the photo prompt was much bleaker, but as I wrote Antony things lightened, thanks for your comments

    1. rosemawrites

      Dark is okay with me. πŸ™‚ I have written a lot of dark tales, too. πŸ™‚ But I love this as it is. πŸ™‚

      @rosemawrites from
      A Reading Writer

      1. Michael Humphris

        Interesting piece on Schiophobia

        1. rosemawrites

          oh thank you for reading it. πŸ™‚

  14. Michael Humphris

    Thank you, this piece started off so much darker,

    1. rosemawrites

      Dark is good, for me. πŸ™‚ I am also guilty in writing a lot of dark and tragic pieces. πŸ™‚

      @rosemawrites from
      A Reading Writer

      1. Michael Humphris

        I love to write except Romance. But Poetry often fox’s me Thanks

        1. rosemawrites

          oh… πŸ™‚

    2. rosemawrites

      I am not sure if my comment/reply has been posted. BEen trying thrice already.

      @rosemawrites from
      A Reading Writer

      1. Michael Humphris

        It’s Ok, I do the same. Mike

        1. rosemawrites

          sorry! there are a looot of comments posted.

  15. madamewriter

    I wondered what Antony was…I was thinking a rat. Nice “coming of age” tale.

  16. Margaret

    What a charming story. I was a bit concerned about Mummy Ant’s motives in sending Antony off alone, and I hope he makes it to the park unsquashed.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Giving freedom is always risky, I expect she followed him to check all was OK

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