Lost Dream

May I thank all of you who take the time to follow my blend of storytelling. Getting feedback and knowing that my output is seen is rewarding, so my thanks are overdue to Rochelle who ensures that the Friday Fictioneers site run smoothly. There is a quite a variety of flash fiction on offer on the Friday Fictioneers site, so if possible do check some out.

Photo copyright:

Photo copyright: J Hardy Carroll

I knew the first time I called at your house that I loved for you. You thought it was puppy love.
You said that you needed to go, to help those in need in Africa. The moment that car hit your scooter it stole my heart.

This Post Has 44 Comments

  1. rochellewisoff

    Dear Michael,

    Oh dear. Sad story that leaves the reader hanging and wanting to know more. Nicely done.

    Thank you for your kind words. You and other writers in this community are the reason I keep at it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. Michael Humphris

      There is definately a story behind this piece of flash fiction,

  2. neilmacdon

    Swift and suprising as that speeding car

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Neil, for your incisive feedback.

  3. Jane Dougherty

    There’s almost no more to be said. A whole life in a few seconds.

    1. Michael Humphris

      That’s so kind. Thank you.

  4. Lynn Love

    So sad, Mchael. From love to heart break in a few lines. Great tale

    1. Michael Humphris

      I am glad my story came over. Thank you

  5. Iain Kelly

    A short and brutal piece of writing.

    1. Michael Humphris

      I am pleased it came over in that way. Thank you greatly for the feedback.

    2. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

      This is exactly what I was going to say. Thanks for saving me the typing Iain.

      1. Michael Humphris

        Iain’s comments are always to the piont and welcome, as are yours.

  6. Dale

    So much said in half the allotted words! Brilliantly done, Michael.
    And great preamble. The sharing and responding to of each other’s stories is so important for this group to really work.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Until joining Friday Fictioneers I was not known for brevity in my writing. I will try to do better at giving good quality feed back.

      1. Dale

        You do very well with the commenting, Michael!
        And FF is fabulous for honing our writing skills, don’t you think?

        1. Michael Humphris

          FF is a great resource and can really help hone skills. I do enjoy seeing now differently prompts are interpreted.

          1. Dale

            It is, for sure!
            I do, too!

  7. plaridel

    there can be no sadder ending.

    1. Michael Humphris

      That is true, thank you,

  8. Christine Goodnough

    As others have said, a lot covered in a few lines. I hope as the story unfolds we’ll learn that the loved one died doing what he/she felt called to do.

    1. Michael Humphris

      They really did, and if possible were missed more for that.

  9. Sandra

    So very sad. And heartfelt.

    1. Michael Humphris

      It was, and is. But that is life.

  10. ceayr

    Wow, abruptly ended just as it was getting started.
    Big impact.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Sadly to many people are now experiencing this type of sadness from acts of terrorism

  11. draliman

    Sad, your narrator never got the chance to prove their love was real.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Their future life may indicate what might have been.

  12. shivamt25

    A powerful tale. I wish I could write something with such an impact.

    1. Michael Humphris

      But you do, I very much liked your latest two stories, and I thank you for them and your comment

  13. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    What a sad story… it could be the beginning of a longer story…

    1. Michael Humphris

      There was a much longer story behind Lost Dreams, but it is to sad to tell. If I could only write poetry, I think the poem would cause people to cry.

  14. Keith's Ramblings

    The contrasting emotions from the beginninng to the end of your short tale is brilliant.

    Click to read my story

    1. Michael Humphris

      I really appreciate your comment, thank you.

  15. neelwritesblog

    your story broke my heart. Brilliant.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Then I must mend it.

  16. lingeringvisions by Dawn

    So sad. I hope this is fiction.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Dawn, there is a small bit of my early life in this piece of autobiography fiction.

  17. magarisa

    Heartbreaking.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Such events are heartbreaking, thank you for your feed back.

      1. magarisa

        You’re welcome.

  18. Michael Wynn

    You’ve gone short again but very impact full. (Pun not intended)

    1. Michael Humphris

      Sometimes short says all that can be told. Thank you Michael for the feedback

  19. Fatima Fakier Deria

    Short piece, wonderfully written.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Fatima, for your kind comment, it is appreciated

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