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Unexpected Pain

Photo copyright: Jan Wayne Fields
Photo copyright: Jan Wayne Fields

Wilomeana was torn in two. Her best friend was dying, while she was happy. Wilomeana was about to marry the man she loved. About to go on honeymoon. To stand on top of a Ziggurat. Wilomeana watched Septimius as he worked on their itinerary.

The view was fabulous, she could imagine the Ziggurat as it once was, glowing in the night. It had been topped with a golden couch, with the sides of the monolithic structure painted in brilliant colours. She never heard Septimius as he shouted a warning. She was falling, she was about to join her friend.

Footnote: On hindsight I believe this story needed more honing, or words. See comment section for this story.

This Post Has 35 Comments
    1. Thank you Sandra, I am annoyed at myself for this post, I think it needed more than one hundred words. At present three characters have attempted to take over my writing. So I found myself killing one off. But perhaps she survived the fall. !

      1. Do you think if you had a clearer idea of what Wilomeana wanted to do, you could have made the plot tauter? As the story stands, there is no real tension between the needs of any of the characters and the action. Nice description of the ziggurat, though!

    1. Thank you gahlearner, Septimius and his [cohorts?] have surprised me too. The next section of their story is already in my head, whilst another section waits to be delivered! But I must try and deliver other subjects.

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