Dear Miss Leadbreaker.
The hotel receptionist reported that you failed to arrive for your room booking. Fortunately there is a great demand for rooms when the racetrack is in use. We reallocated your room to a Arab gentleman. He was pleased to get such a fine room. In fact he loved the hotel so much, that he brought it, lock stock and barrel. He was particularly pleased with the picture in the room. We advised him that it was of you. He suggested that we refund your deposit on the room, which of course we are pleased to do.
Our new owner wondered if you would care to see his plans for the old place. He would be pleased to meet you. We have taken the liberty of booking a room for you. There will be no cost. Our new owner only asks that you arrive in your classic car, for which he has taken the liberty of providing a heated garage. He wonders if you might bring along the same dress that you wore when I photographed you changing a wheel.
Yours sincerely Donald Rump. Hotel Manager