Unknown

Photo curtsy of T S

Photo curtsy of T Strutz

“What is it Simon”. “I’m not sure Rod”.

S. “Could it be one of those mythical dragons that dad keeps going on about”.

R. “Might be, anyway we can’t eat it, so it’s not much use to us”.

S. “It could be turned into a shelter Rod, you know like in the old days when people lived in houses. I think that I might have liked to live in a house”.

R. “I know brother”.

S “Let’s looking inside”.

R “Phew something’s beaten us to it. It stinks”.

S “You think dragons stinked Rod”.

R “How’d do I know”.

Footnote: How you interpret this is up to you dear reader. For myself I heard and saw two ragamuffin’s in a post apocalyptic worlds

Visiting Berlin

Visiting Berlin

This Post Has 62 Comments

  1. Sandra

    I saw it pretty much the way you did, Michael. Interesting take on the prompt.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Sandra,

  2. Iain Kelly

    Good to know ragamuffins will survive the apocalypse!

    1. Michael Humphris

      They where pleased also, thank you Iain

    2. theministryofshrawleywalks

      Like cockroaches

      1. Michael Humphris

        Cockroaches do have a bad press

  3. Violet Lentz

    As did I. Excellent picture painted through your dialogue.

    1. Michael Humphris

      I was unsure of the dialogue flow, so I am right pleased to get your feedback, thank you Violet.

  4. Dale

    Whatever it was/is, the stink is enough to keep them away, I should think,

    1. Michael Humphris

      Dale I did not hang around long enough to find out what was causing the stink

  5. rochellewisoff

    Dear Michael,

    Imaginative take on the prompt. I pretty much saw it the way you meant it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Rochelle, I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Sadly commenting is something that I find most difficult.

  6. 4963andypop

    I hope they are not headed down the dragon’s esophogus.

    1. Michael Humphris

      They so nearly did…

  7. granonine

    Something dead means something that kills is nearby. Better watch out!

    1. Michael Humphris

      They moved away quite quickly. You are doing much better than me this week. I am struggling to find my commenting muse.

      1. granonine

        It’s hard sometimes. When each post is so well- written, it’s hard to find something unique to say. What a talented bunch!

        1. Michael Humphris

          Talented and fascinating

  8. ceayr

    Good interchange, Michael, nicely developed story.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you, I very much appreciate this comment

  9. anuragbakhshi

    I saw it the same way Michael, so no concerns on comprehension in this one I guess.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Mowgli speaks well,

      1. anuragbakhshi

        Ha ha ha

  10. Rowena

    Hi Michael,
    Great story here. After reading your comment about the flow, I re-read it and noticed quite a few changes I would make to the punctuation.
    Firstly, unless this is intended to be a play, I’d take out the letters at the start of each line.
    Secondly, I pick out a sentence and reviewed the punctuation but you and others might not agree with my take and that’s fine.
    “It could be turned into a shelter, Rod. You know, like in the old days when people lived in houses. I think that I might have liked to live in a house.”
    You’ll notice too the the full stop goes before the quotation marks.
    I am a Grammar Nazi.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    1. Michael Humphris

      Rowena, I was pleased to see an alternative sentence construction. During my English classes in junior school, due to a local shortage of teachers we had French and American teachers. My English punctuation is well and truly scrabbled

      1. Rowena

        Having a French person teaching you English Grammar could be a real problem. I can’t quite think off the top of my head whether their word order is different but I think so. When I was in Year 6 at primary school, we did what felt like a Grammar intensive and I really struggled and then later on what with modern writing styles, punctuation went out the door and you just wrote from that deep reservoir within and didn’t need to constrain it with Grammar. However, over the last ten years, I’ve worked on it a bit. A good rule of thumb is to add a comma where you would take a breath in speech. It’s become more intuitive for me these days and what sounds right. I’m also something of an amateur violinist from a family of musicians so that also influences my writing. It has to sound right. Hope that helps a little.
        Best wishes,
        Rowena

        1. Michael Humphris

          I am jealous, music is the stuff of magic… I grew up in a rural area with strong accents and no stopping to breath! So it seems that I am a right mixture, but I get by. Many teachers tried to straighten me out, at first I must have been something of a nightmare for most of them

          1. Rowena

            You can also have too much polish. So, there’s a fine line and I think everyone likes to hear something which is close to their own voice.

          2. Michael Humphris

            I do agree, thank you Rowena

  11. kislaya

    Very creative story!
    Enjoyed the post apocalyptic conversation between the two.

    1. Michael Humphris

      So pleased to read your comment

  12. Abhijit Ray

    Nice place to live, be it post apocalypse or pre apocalypse. Only problem is the stink. May be someone else is already there. No very hygienic, it appears.

    1. Michael Humphris

      Perhaps the car is used as a nest by the young of wild boar or even dragons!

  13. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    I think you captured the post apocalyptic scenery well…

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Björn

  14. draliman

    Never mind the stink, it’s out of the weather!

    1. Michael Humphris

      That’s true, thank you draliman

  15. theministryofshrawleywalks

    I think the smell is a rotting corpse in the back seat, but I do like a macabre mystery

    1. Michael Humphris

      No rotting corpse, but perhaps a nest of wild boars, or even young dragons

  16. plaridel

    in a post apocalyptic world, everything can be seen in a different light. 🙂

    1. Michael Humphris

      That is true, writing about a apocalyptic world give me freedom to explore ideas.

  17. gahlearner

    An intriguing and unique story, I like it a lot. Let them think it’s a dragon, that keeps them away. I think it might be a badger or some other species from that family, like a marten or weasel. They stink. A lot.

    1. Michael Humphris

      You have me remembering times past and differing furry animals.

  18. Kelvin M. Knight's blog

    This dialogue dances.

    1. Michael Humphris

      What a lovely comment, thank you.

  19. Marian Green

    Such an imagination Michael. And good story

    gramswisewords.blogspot.com

    1. Michael Humphris

      I very much enjoyed ‘Hidden’. For me anything is of use. I see magic in old abandoned cars,

  20. subroto

    Probably the last driver of the car is still inside since the apocalypse. Sounds like the brothers are looking out for each other.

    1. Michael Humphris

      I think that the former occupants of the car are long gone, eaten perhaps

  21. Lynn Love

    I saw the same, Michael. Wondering where these poor lads live, in the woods, all alone. Interesting take on the prompt

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Lynn, I read your take on the prompt and enjoyed it, as I did your interview with Iain

      1. Lynn Love

        Thank you Michael. My pleasure 🙂

  22. Brenda's Thoughts

    A clever take on the prompt, a post-apocolyptic world where Rod and Simon know nothing of the world before. I enjoyed the dialogue!

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Brenda, I do enjoy the challenge of flash stories; sadly I am not very gifted at ‘constructive’ commenting.

      1. Brenda's Thoughts

        That’s not true, Michael. Your comments are always encouraging and welcome!

        1. Michael Humphris

          It is kind of you to say so. Thank you Brenda.

  23. Anshu Bhojnagarwala

    Michael, read your footnote and re-read it, and finally got it! Sometimes the mind takes longer to understand. 🙂

    1. Michael Humphris

      I struggled with the flow of Unknown. My muse took around twelve attempts to bring this piece of flash to a completion. I am grateful that you preserved, thank you Anshu

  24. michaelwynnauthor

    Great take, I’m sure dragons do stink

    1. Michael Humphris

      Thank you Micheal, I then to give dragons a wide birth.

  25. lisarey1990

    Clever & vivid.

    1. Michael Humphris

      I am grateful for such a kind comment,

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