skip to Main Content

Life once resided here.

Photo prompt: Dale Rogerson.
Photo prompt: Dale Rogerson.

Golden drops of life once resided here. Dreams came just like the differing members of the families did. Now all that remains are empty houses slowly decaying in the heat. All was once clear in my memory, but age brings impurities, challenging my memories. Which now feel rather like a fading rainbow, yet even in darkness I will believe in hope. For I believe that the patterns that once were life, now drift crystal clear in another plain. Like springs water they pour in torrents out into the universe. Liquid memories heading for new worlds. Sparkling like a true rainbow.

A fine day at Mevagissey
A fine day at Mevagissey
This Post Has 52 Comments
  1. A very intriguing take on life’s journey standing at the tail-end of it. Memories like faded rainbows sounds like a life well -lived, and the spilling over into the universe, reflects death as transformation and not then end.

  2. Beautiful, magical. This piece has the kind of mind clearing sensibility (as in feeling, not as in being practical)of books like the celestine prophecy. I feel some fantastical enlightenment coming…

  3. Hi Michael,
    I really loved this flash, but thought it could use a bit of help in the punctuation department and that might be why you were feeling it needed a bit of work. So, after appreciating feedback myself this week, I took the liberty of working on the punctuation for you. You also had believe twice quite close together and jiggled a few other things too. I’d really like to see it as a poem, because it has a beqautiful poetic quality and is a great piece of writing. Just needed a bit of polish, which can be a lot easier to apply to someone else’s work.

    Golden drops of life once resided here. Dreams came, just like the various members of the family. Now, all that remains, are empty houses slowly decaying in the heat. All was once clear in my memory, but age brings impurities, challenging my memories, which now feel rather like a fading rainbow, Yet, even in darkness, I have hope. For I believe, that the patterns that once were life, now drift crystal clear in another plane. Like spring water, they pour in torrents out into the universe. Liquid memories heading for new worlds. Sparkling like a true rainbow.

    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    1. Hi Rowena, I am grateful for your input, I had missed seeing the repetitive word. As for punctuation, it has always out foxed me. Usually after about six weeks I transfer the flash fiction to my laptop, when google sometimes steps in to highlight some of my errors. When I transfer this post, I will print out my version and yours. Which will help me greatly. Thank you Mike

      1. You’re welcome, Mike. Punctuation is a beast and it’s often easier to pick up in someone else’s work. However, when I read your piece, the punctuation seemed quite clear to me. That’s not to say I haven’t made different mistakes.
        I think it’s much better to help each other with the prompts rather than just patting each other on the back. Constructive criticism presented kindly is worth its weight in gold.
        Best wishes,
        Rowena

  4. So many pretty phrases in your piece, Michael. But I think my favorite was “age brings impurities.” My stepfather has Alzheimer’s, and I couldn’t help but think of him as I read, “Liquid memories heading for new worlds.,” and somehow, it gave me a little peace.

    1. Alzheimer’s is a scourge, we need more research to find ways of preventing or slowing its effects. It would be pleasing if my post was even a very tiny step forward Jan.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top