The Leaving Day
People thought the authorities had got things right in the 21 century. Now the wickedness of the authorities from that time was coming home to roost. The authorities said that only thing we could do was to leave earth, but all the flyers had taken off for the ports. Only the antiquated trams remained, so most of the population set out to walk to the time portals. We hoped that where ever we landed up, would be better than excepting the rule of the aliens.
I was one of the first to arrive in the gated city of labour, everything was prepared for us. The rules were strict, if you did not obey you starved. But what we all missed the most, was the lack of a night time sky. For at night there was no moon, no stars, just a dull flat grey lid over us. We were entombed in factory cities under the crust of Saturn.
This Post Has 25 Comments
Very intriguing! An alien world and it doesn’t sound like one I would want to live in. Great story Mike!
Thank you PJ, I do learn so much from all the comments, I was uncertain about this story, your comment reassured me, thank you. Mike
Terrific plot!
Thank you so much, your comment encourages me to build on this simple story
Intriguing.
Thank you Yarnspinner. The Leaving Day is a snippet for insertion into two of my other stories, hopeful it will join them together, one day!
I am sure it shall complement the other stories. 🙂
You’ve taken the prompt photo a long way! Nicely done.
Thank you Iain, several years back I penned a story wrongly called Diamond World. The Leaving Day allows me to rework that story, its been along time coming.
A really imaginative twist in the photo, Michael. Great story telling
Thank you Lynn, I am grateful that the prompt encouraged the twist, the twist has encouraged me to return to a story that I wrote some time ago, and hopefully develope it further.
My pleasure 🙂
It begins as scifi, and then takes a dark turn. Superb!
Thank you Reena, for your lovely encouraging comment,
Thank you so much Reena.
I recall an episode of the original Star Trek series where the population of a planet, in order to escape their world before their sun went nova, all chose different periods in their planet’s past to live. Of course Kirk, Spock, and McCoy accidentally get trapped and need to return to the present to regain the Enterprise. This reminds me of that story somewhat, although I’m constrained to point out that people would probably be crushed by Saturn’s gravity. One of their moons might be more suitable for a mining colony.
I am a fan of Star Trek and recall that episode. The question for you and me now is, if the humans are transported to sites deep within the crust of Saturn, will the gravity still be of the same deadly magnitude? It it is I will have to rewrite my story.
It takes so much imagination to write science fiction!
Imagination comes in many forms. There are areas where I have a complete lack of imagination. Being able to work with and understand other languages is one.
I can write a little fantasy, but not science fiction. I have a hard time with certain types of horror, but an easy time with others. It takes all of us, doesn’t it?
Hi Rosemary, I have ‘always’ enjoyed reading about the golden days of sailing but I am unable to write a single paragraph about sailing. It is difficult to be a successful author across ‘lots’ of differing genres.
This has a very Outer Limits feel to it. Nicely written, but frightening.
Going Home
Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~
Thank you Ann: I believe the future is in humanities hands and that we control our own destination.
I wouldn’t like to be a part of this alien planet. The rules are harsh. Good imagination.
http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/06/117th-challenge-flash-fiction-for.html?m=1
Thank you Kalpana, I did also enjoy what you did with your story called the Tram. Sadly I am at present unable to comment on stories posted on Blogger.